Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
