he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
