this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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