It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
