Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
His nipple licking is glorious
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