how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
