Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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