I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
