she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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