careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
