seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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