You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
