apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well most of my day revolves around power hour
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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