guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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