One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize