just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
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My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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