so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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