anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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