I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i think i just lost a toe
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize