help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
