Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
