did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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