He is an equal opportunity slut.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
