I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
