I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
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I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dignity is for republicans.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
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made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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