her vagine was all disorganized.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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