Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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