Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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