good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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