Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
