i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
