I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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