Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have fence marks all over my body
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
