So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
