That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize
