yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
