I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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