What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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