Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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