I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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