I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
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I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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