would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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