Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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