How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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