Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
