i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
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