I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
