That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
