That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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