There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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