THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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