Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
