kristin has been a bad kristin
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
