the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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