Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
