i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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